Member-only story
Happy Birthday, Keanu Reeves
How I think a conversation with the birthday boy would go
“I’m 57…Whoa.”
But you look 30, Keanu. You’re aging like fine wine.
“…………….”
“……………………..”
“….Yeah.”
So, September 2nd is your big day.
What are you doing to celebrate? Having friends over for a party? Wait, let me guess. It’s a John Wick theme with multiple cakes shaped like dead bodies scattered around the room.
“I don’t eat cake. We’ll have oatmeal with cinnamon and blueberries.”
Oh, okay. Will you invite over any famous friends?
“………………Hollywood types get on my nerves. Maybe just a few close friends who haven’t pissed me off yet.”
I can understand that. Is that how you manage your stress levels, by only keeping good people around you?
“………Yeah.”
Tell me more.
“The friends and acquaintances you hold close are like balls of white-hot energy. Like the sun. They charge you up, but if you keep them in your arms for too long, you melt.”
Right. Okay. So, will you do something fun together at your party? You know, to celebrate your success and the new…
